Things You Want to Know About

Raising children in this modern world is a challenge. Band parents should prepare themselves to address a host of extra challenges not faced by others. These are the things for which Dr. Spock and Dear Abby have not prepared you.

The Purchase and Maintenance of Musical Instruments

You purchased your child's first instrument 3 or 4 years ago. Since they were just beginners you probably bought whatever brand of inexpensive student instrument was available locally. Now that your band member is in high school it is time to upgrade to a decent instrument. Student instruments are all right but they are designed first to be rugged and cheap and second to be good musical instruments. Your child deserves better. Your child's band deserves better.

For reasons which if they were ever revealed would probably expose a serious ethical vacuum at the heart of the consumers movement, no wide circulation consumer magazine has ever printed an article on the purchase of band instruments. This omission explains why so many young flautists are walking around with flutes that have "gizmo" keys the purpose of which no one seems to know and with which professional flutists have done without all these years to no apparent ill effect.

First you should review the price ranges available and consider what you can afford. The price range for popular smaller instruments (flutes, trumpets, clarinets, trombones) starts at about $400.00 and goes up (and up and up) from there. The best production clarinets and flutes cost about $17,000.00 and custom built instruments are considerably more expensive. Middle size instruments (French horns, alto and tenor saxophones, euphoniums) start at about $2500.00 and go up just like the small instruments only faster. Less popular and complicated or medium large instruments (bassoons, oboes, baritone saxophones) start at about $3500.00 and go guess where. Large instruments (tubas) start at about $4000.00 and go up to about $20,000.00 for production instruments. Custom made tubas are available. Don't ask. You can't afford them. No one can.

That's quite a range of prices to consider. To make matters worse higher prices do not always mean higher quality. Despite decades of production experience there is an enormous variation in quality even among individual instruments of exactly the same make and model. You will find this purchase much easier if you are an accomplished player of the instrument you want to buy and can test instruments yourself. If you aren't it is too late to start lessons now. Seek the assistance of a local professional player. But Beware! Use a professional player who does not have a business relationship with a particular instrument maker or retailer.

Poem Link- Shopping for a New Instrument

What to Do if Your Band Member Wants to Pursue a Career in Music

After careful investigation the best possible advice is:

IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD, STOP THEM !!

A good way to do this is to take them to see "Mr. Holland's Opus". In this so-called "feel good" movie a bad clarinet player rises to the state governorship while a talented musician has to give up performing and composing and turn to music education just to scratch out a meager living. In the finale he is laid off when the entire school arts program is jettisoned by a penny-pinching school board. (That is supposed to be a happy ending. Seriously folks. The film's producers say it has a happy ending!)

If that doesn't discourage them then you should know that there are three general areas of specialization in music; Performance, Education, and Composition. All of these are rotten ways to have to make a living.

Performance- In the beginning of the 21st Century the only well-paid full-time employment for instrumentalists is in the few remaining major symphony orchestras. (And they are going fast! As this was being written (for the first time) the San Diego Symphony went bankrupt. Not a Chrysler type bankruptcy where they borrow money from the government and reorganize ad infinitum, an old fashioned bankruptcy where they shut down forever throwing everybody out of work.) Your child has a better chance of playing professional sports on a major league team. There are more teams than orchestras and athletes have short careers. Sports positions open up frequently. A chair in a major orchestra may open up only once in 45 years.

Your child should seriously consider a career in performance only if they are the best player on their instrument that their band director has ever met and they were first chair All-State and they love practicing 8 hours a day and no other life is conceivable to them and even then they probably will not make it and this was meant to be upbeat.

The odds are against them. For example, every year approximately 30-40 tuba players who were first-chair All-Staters plus about 400 others who were also All-Staters graduate from music colleges. In a typical year only 2 or 3 full-time tuba playing positions open up in orchestras. That adds up to a lot of unemployed tuba players.

There is just one other possibility for full-time performance employment. It is not very well paid. It is not for independent minded free-spirited types. It is not for people with a strong preference in home location. It is the military bands. Even these are much harder to get into than previously due to downsizing of the armed forces. Still, if your child really wants to perform for a living this is the best chance. If they keep their noses clean and work hard and they can retire after 20-30 years having achieved the exalted rank of corporal. But they should be aware, in the event of general armed conflict military band members get shifted into some pretty unpleasant jobs such as battlefield stretcher bearer.

The alternative to steady orchestra or military employment is to freelance. Freelance musicians have no regular musical employment. They pick up whatever individual playing jobs (gigs) they can find. One day they may work as a substitute in a major orchestra, the next day they may work in some cheap club, the next day (and the next and the next) they may not work at all (except perhaps at McDonald's). Freelancing is an attractive option for persons who want to go through life not knowing where their next meal is coming from and who enjoy frequent evictions. A handful of freelance performers do make it big. Most of these are studio musicians (in Los Angles or New York) who play for TV commercials. Their success keeps hope alive for the others. But even for great star soloists freelancing is an iffy venture. The great (we're talking world class here) cellist Gregor Piatigorsky at the height of his fame did an American tour earning large fees every night only to discover that expenses, commissions and taxes reduced his profit almost to nothing. Famous rock groups have been known to lose money on sold-out concerts.

Poem Link- I Wish I Had Been an Accountant

For "non-solo" instrumentalists it is especially bad. Great tuba players must teach full time to be sure of a steady income. Which makes a pretty fair segue to -

Music Education- Your child's chances of finding a music job are greatest in music education. (In many areas of the country. In areas where school enrollments are stable or shrinking, forget it.) Music Education is a glorious opportunity for them to earn advanced degrees in order to qualify for underpaid jobs with mediocre benefits, long hours, high stress and a better than average chance of being sued. Strangely Music Education programs in colleges are full. Your child will have to compete very hard just to get a place in a good music education training program.

By now it will come as no surprise to you that in many schools the band directors are former All-Staters, have prestigious advanced degrees from prestigious major music colleges and have prestigious national reputations. The schools could never attract a similarly credentialed science or math teacher. Even mediocre scientists and engineers can find work for two to three times what they would make teaching. Your child probably wants to go into music because the best teacher they ever had was in band.

Its ironic, that's what it is, ironic. Our society does not much reward musicians (except for a handful of superstars). Many fine musicians turn to teaching and train more good musicians who then can't find jobs (and turn to teaching and train more good musicians who then can't find jobs and well, you get the idea.....) On the other hand scientists and engineers are very well paid. They do not go into teaching. There is a shortage of good science and math teachers even though there is an ever growing demand for good science and math graduates. Perhaps you should sue. (Sue whom or for what is not entirely clear. The newspapers say there are plenty of under-employed lawyers. Find one and be creative!)

The chances of getting a full-time college teaching position in music are no better than that of getting a full-time performing position. Former members of major orchestras can be found teaching in junior colleges. More and more of the big universities save money by using poorly paid part-time music faculty.

Composition- There are American composers who actually make a living composing. For example there is movie music composer John Williams, and there's John Williams and what about John Williams? (Of course if he made that much money composing why did he spend all those years as conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra?).

Even the most famous composers like Aaron Copland, Leonard Bernstein and Charles Ives, needed other jobs in order to eat regularly. (Copland taught and conducted, Bernstein conducted, taught and talked and Ives was an insurance executive. Band Parent Factoid: In Ives' lifetime his writings on the theory of life insurance were read by more people than heard his music.

Bela Bartok composed his "Concerto for Orchestra", one of the most performed pieces of mid-twentieth century music, for a commission of only $1000.00 (about $10,000 today). Walt Disney only had to pay Igor Stravinsky $1000.00 (about $10,000 today) to use "The Rite of Spring" in the movie "Fantasia". The actor who provided the voice of Mickey Mouse got more and he only had three lines.

Even for successful popular music composers it is tough going. There is an occasional Andrew Lloyd Webber and some performers are successful composers of music they perform themselves (such as Loretta Lynn or Bob Dylan). But few of even the most famous popular composers could earn their living just by composing. Meredith Wilson didn't have his first hit, "The Music Man", until he was 55 years old. Rogers and Hammerstein probably made more money producing shows (including other peoples') than they did from writing their own. Lennon and McCartney could have made a lot of money from their songs but they lost the copyrights (For some reason they belong to Michael Jackson. The Beatles' wealth derived from their recordings. Even then the Beatles' music remained popular for decades. Most chart hits have a shelf life of just a few months.)

Depressing. Its just too gosh double darn bad that music is so wonderful because earning a living as a professional musician is the pits. In the words of an anonymous Boston Symphony horn player, "Better to be a plumber.".

How to Spot a Really Dedicated High School Band Director
While all High School Band directors seem to have a dedication to their jobs bordering on zealotry some are more dedicated than others. There are certain subtle signs by which the most dedicated directors can be identified. By examining a director's preferences in literature, art, entertainment, politics, etc. you can spot the truly dedicated and work toward hiring them for or retaining them in your child's band program.

1-Politics: Hasn't voted in the last 10 years since that would require taking too much time off during the marching season. In election years finds out who won the US presidential contest in mid-December.

2-Religion: Prays thrice daily whilst bowing toward Elkhart, Indiana.

3-Hobbies: Plays in a band director's reading band on Sundays. Sleeps occasionally except during marching season.

4-Literature: Last book read was Philip Farkas', The Art of Brass Playing.

5-Cinema: Last movie seen was the one whose soundtrack is basis for this year's marching contest show. Plans to see "Mr. Holland's Opus" now that it is out on video.

6-Memory: Knows full name (and instrument) of every one of 300 band members. Can't recall the first name of any of their own nephews or nieces.

7-Vacations: Attends State Bandmasters' Convention

8-Television: Watches The Weather Channel during the marching season

9-Cars: Drives old pick-up truck whose bed is severely scratched from years of transporting tympani and tubas.

10-Art: Home is decorated with "Golden Age" era advertising posters from the C.G. Conn Company

How to Spot a Really Good High School Band Director

Dedication is all very well. However a bad but dedicated band director is worse than a bad but undedicated director. At least the undedicated bad director will do less damage.

Goodness is harder to spot than dedication. Success is often mistaken for it. Some people succeed without being any good at all. At that great famous expensive scientific university called M.I.T. (technological advancement would slow to a crawl if they had to say "The Massachusetts Institute of Technology" every time) many of the professors while eminent in their fields of expertise are terrible teachers. Yet MIT has a reputation for turning out well educated graduates. How do they do it? Simple. MIT maintains hopelessly high entrance standards and is just so very picky about which students it lets in. (Recent quote from the MIT Admission Office on the new SAT exam scoring- "Well we certainly won't be as impressed by double 800's anymore, but then we never were we get so many of them.") Those students can learn with bad teachers. They'd do just dandy with no teachers.

Do not measure the quality of band directors just by how many contests their bands win. They may have lucked into a school containing large numbers of highly motivated talented students all of whom's parents are wealthy musicians. Or they may have adopted policy's which insure winning at the expense of the music education of the majority of the kids. You are too clever to be fooled. The mere fact that you have found this website proves that you are a band parent to be reckoned with. Let us review how to spot the really good band director.

1-Actually likes music. This may seem obvious but many band directors don't. Love of music is at the core of the being of the good band director. They like to listen to it, perform it, study it and/or write it. They go to concerts having nothing to do with their jobs. They perform themselves whenever the opportunity and their schedule permits.

2-Actually likes working with teenagers (singly and in large/small groups): As the parent of at least one teenager you may wonder how anyone could like working with them. That's a fair observation made no less so by the fact that most teenagers can't understand how anyone could like working with parents. Yet there are apparently completely sane persons who do like to work with teenagers. Do not bother trying to understand them. Just make note of those band director's who happen to be one of them if you should ever encounter such a one.

3-Actually likes working with unmotivated and/or just ordinarily talented teenagers: As discussed above any director can get results out of highly motivated prodigies. The good band director gets results from almost every student. (Yes, "almost". Even the best teachers do not succeed with every student. Its something to do with limits defined by the Second Law of Thermodynamics under whose unyielding tyranny we all must live.)

4-Are actually liked by teenagers: Obvious, but beware directors who are liked by teenagers because they are wimp-like push-overs.

5-Are actually liked by teenagers they force both to behave and to perform better than the teenagers themselves ever before thought necessary: This is the biggie. Some directors can demand efforts above and beyond the call of duty while retaining the respect and even the love of their students. They are the ones you want.

What to Do About a Troublesome School Administration
Most school administrations adequately support their band program. At worst they underfund the band no more than they underfund mathematics, the sciences, languages or history. Only football can always be certain of a fully funded budget. But what do you do when your administration doesn't support the band program?

First make sure the administration is the problem. If the district is in receivership and funding decisions are being made by bankruptcy court beating on administrators will do no good. If the district is spending $30 million dollars on new gymnasiums while reducing the band's budget 10% then marshal your resources and take action.

Do not hesitate to take on offending administrators. Though outwardly brave many school administrators harbor at least some fear of parents and most harbor more than some fear of parent's lawyers. (You don't actually have to have a lawyer. Just look as if you do.)

Choose a spokesperson carefully. A band parent who has spent the last ten years chairing a group vocally opposed to higher school taxes will not have the moral authority needed to shame administrators into increasing the band's funding.

Choose your administrator targets carefully. There is no point wasting time on a sympathetic principal when the actual decision maker is the assistant superintendent. That accomplishes nothing and may lose you a valuable ally. Search until you have identified the real culprit be it principal, superintendent or one or more of the school board members.

Attack, attack, attack and attack again. This is no time for halfway measures. The offenders are either craven or subject to enormous pressure from the other direction. If craven then no mercy is warranted. If not then you must apply enough pressure to push them back the other way.

Avoid ad hominem attacks. The administrators have already been called every bad name in the book by somebody or other. It is unlikely you will be able to come up with a new one. If you do they probably won't know what it means. It really takes the sting out of an epithet when you have to stand there explaining its definition. It would be just your luck that the administrator is an etymologist who will dispute its meaning thus derailing the whole affair for three hours whilst the two of you animatedly debate the original Anglo-Saxon word for "goat". Happens all the time. (And its "gat" not "geit"! Look it up!)

Copyright 1996 by George Yenetchi

Copyright 1994. 1995, 1996 , 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2006 by George Yenetchi